Lily Allen is crediting Hypnotherepist to the stars Susan Hepburn (don’t stare in the eyes!) for her new weight loss.

Check out what Susan has to say…

“I taught Lily to favour healthy, low-fat meals instead of junk food. And to see that alcohol isn’t a confidence booster, it’s just extra calories that sabotage your efforts to get a good body.”

For $600 bucks a session, that’s it? She also refers to her technique as “weight loss without dieting.”

I decided to take up the art of this weight loss hypnosis stuff.

Look deep into my typing.

You are starting to feel warm.

You are starting to feel a tingle in the back of your right ear.

You are now feeling the fire of a thousand swords in your f**cking eyeballs because you can’t take reading moronic s**t like this any more!

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Feature Product for this post: The Fat Loss Troubleshoot, and it doesn’t even involve hypnosis

I can’t sit through Biggest Loser without being physically affected. This can be in forms of sudden turrets or becoming physically violent towards the television set tennis balls. Any good fitness professional always has a collection of self massage equipment by their TV.

Why? Isn’t it inspirational? At least they achieve their goal, right?

Yeah, so do bulimics, but I don’t think the ratings for that show have staying power.

In the video clip you can watch Bob give it to one of the contestants for not finishing “high interval sprint” on the treadmill.

Go ahead, watch it.

You say: “Oh come on, that is what trainers do, they push people! She wasn’t giving her all.”
I say: NO! How about she shouldn’t be on a treadmill running like that in the first place because the sheer weight and volume of her ass is enough to take down her knees and joints down in a snap. To add insult to injury the kind of deficits they create on that show are so extreme that their bodies are primed for getting tore up.

This isn’t Rocky. This is fat people being tied to a moving hamster wheel. The people from this show walk away with severe delusions about what diet and training are. Thanks to marketing and TV, so do their fans.

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First off, thanks for reading, or at least reading my first sentence before realizing that you wanted to read Mike Robertson’s section instead. No hard feelings.

Secondly, I want to tell a little about what you can expect from my section. Sometimes it will have a lot to do with fitness. Sometimes, it will have very little to do with fitness, and a lot of times it will fall somewhere in between. Leigh’s told me that I can say anything I want (FLzine.com SUCKS!) and I promise that at one point or another you will at least be slightly offended by something I write. (Of course, that’s entirely dependent on your continued readership. I sincerely hope that my section will become a regular stop on this series of tubes for you. With the way things are going right now, the least I can do is distract you for a few minutes) I’m often irreverent and politically incorrect, but I promise to attempt to try my best to be tactful. Honest.

Anyway, let’s get it on.

Ridiculous Airbrush of the Week: Did anyone see Julia-Louis Dreyfus on the cover of Shape magazine?

What the fuck? Someone photoshopped the abs of Zeus on that woman. Granted, even though she’s probably had a little work done, she looks great for 48. But what 48 year old woman has those abs? (Please do not send me any pictures of roided up female bodybuilders. I’d like to keep my testosterone levels where they are) It would have been slightly more believable if she didn’t have no-squat thighs. Then again, maybe she’s following the uber-popular crunch ‘n cardio plan. With lattes for breakfast.

Ridiculous Airbrush of the Week II: Speaking of magazine covers, Mischa Barton graces the cover of FHM this month. Yes, this is the same magazine that recently had Stacy Keibler on the cover. Quick, what’s one thing that they don’t have in common? If you answered “the gym,” you win! I pity the person that had to airbrush this.

OMG! Steroids!: The Dancing With the Stars that we all know and love is now tainted forever. Singer and songwriter Jewel, who is a contestant on the season that starts next week, has been battling knee tendonitis, and is sticking needles in her ass to compensate. If she wins, I hope that there is a giant asterisk affixed to the disco ball trophy. No word if Jewel’s steroid abuse will pressure the other contestants to ask Lawrence Taylor for the hookup.

Fitness Video of the Week: This is well worth your time.

Random Non-Fitness Thought: Whoever the producer is that decided to only play Bruce Springsteen and Dierks Bentley songs in the transitions to and from commercials during NASCAR races on ESPN deserves a huge raise.

Nick Bromberg has written for the Kansas City Star, The Big Lead, The Sports Frog and other websites and publications. Nick graduated from the University of Missouri Journalism school in May of 2008 with a degree in News Editorial. Nick is currently studying for his C.S.C.S and has attended the JPFitness Summit for the past four years, an event he loves so much that he’s hosting the 2009 edition in Kansas City, MO. You can find Nick hanging out online at the FLzine forums, The Sports Frog and the JPFitness Forums.

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Feature item for this post: The Wrestler

If you have recently started hearing different views on fasting, Brad Pilon may be the reason. Recently Brad released the insanely popular ebook “Eat Stop Eat” that details how to achieve your goals through a technique of fasting. For such a short book (90 pages) it has made one hell of an impact, and really shaken up the views and dogma of the nutrition and fitness world.

That trend doesn’t stop with there. Brad has continued it with his new book “How Much Protein?” that currently comes as an extra with a special package offer of EatStopEat. While I was reading the new book I found my self having a lot of “Yep, uh huh, damn right!” moments. It is rare that I find myself agreeing so much with an book lately, so I enjoy it when I can. Here is a brief snippit of “How much Protein?”

“The Infamous “Research” That Started All the Confusion

When it comes to the importance of ‘nutrient timing’ it seems that this popular notion started with a research paper that as published in 2001 that showed that when it comes to protein – ‘timing is everything’.

If you read any popular fitness/nutrition publications or websites, you’ll see this research quoted everywhere! Most of the articles you read in magazines or online usually quote the same study published in the Journal of Physiology. The journal of Physiology is very reputable journal, so I figured this study must be a pretty solid piece of evidence supporting all the chatter about the specific timing of post workout protein supplementation. Obviously I had to see this research paper myself and see what it said.

When I finally tracked this study down I was surprised to learn that the subjects in this trial were elderly men in their 70’s, and the post-workout protein supplement only contained 10 grams of protein! This is a far cry from the protein mega doses that are currently being promoted by all the latest nutrition and fitness gurus. But the inconsistencies between the study and the current fitness industry dogma didn’t stop there.”

That one might ruffle some feathers, or at least it should. In short, I highly recommend picking it up. Now, on with the interview.

Question 1: Since you are in contact with your readers and critics, what are the top “I want to bang my head in the keyboard” questions you get?

Brad pilon: The question that most makes me want to bang me head into my keyboard would have to be those “You said this, but he/she said that” questions.

You know the ones that start “Brad, I really like your book, however I have noticed the following discrepancies between what you say, and what author B says. Please see my 32 bullets outlined below…while I don’t need your help to lose weight (I’m a certified weight loss expert) I am curious to see how you explain your opinions”.

Now don’t get me wrong, when these questions are genuine (ie the person is simply curious and wants help) I have no problems with answering them. It’s when it is simply a test and see what the answers will be, so they can post them to the other author for a rebuttal, is when its a waste of everyones time.

Question 2: Give us more information on “How Much Protein?” What is it about, and who is it for?

Brad Pilon: Basically, if “how do I lose weight?” is the number one nutrition question, then “How much protein do I need to eat to build muscle?” would be a close second. We’ve all heard that protein is critical to building and maintaining lean muscle and metabolism, but is this a scientific truth or an industry created myth?

How much protein? is a question that has been bugging me for years. Even when I worked in the supplement industry designing protein products and clinical trials studying protein, I still wasn’t sure of exactly how much protein was best. There were ideas and theories, but no true answer. I even experimented with as high as 500 grams of protein per day, with little effect on my muscle mass.

When I finally finished Eat Stop Eat I thought, “OK what’s next?” Protein was what immediately sprung to mind. Two years later “How much protein?” is finally finished.

Question 3: I was looking at your blog, and aside from the monstrous twitter bird (seriously that thing is awesomely huge), I noticed a great statement.

“Avoidance.

Yet this is where 99.99% of all of our nutrition recommendations come from…foods to avoid. Bad foods. Evil foods. Food that you should never EVER eat.

“At all costs, avoid caffeine, sugar, white potatoes, saturated fat, trans fats, artificial sweeteners , artificial colors, artificial flavors, bread(gluten), legumes, dairy and anything cooked.”

I’m sure you’ve read this before.

Scaremongering.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say it is dietary extremism masquerading as healthy eating. Plain and simple.”

I personally have had it with the flip flopping of the industry on dietary foods. “Eat the splenda with fiber, but don’t eat potatoes.” is one of my recent favorites. What can you say to ease some peoples minds about the stigma of bad on foods?

Brad Pilon: I think the important thing to remember is that ALL foods are functional, and that there are no EVIL or BAD foods. No food is out to get you. In reality, food doesn’t have a personality.

People like to villainize certain foods, and ‘blame’ them for making them fat. The whole idea of ‘fattening’ foods is a myth. What is ‘bad’ and what is ‘good’ changes daily. This is largely because reporters on the ‘health beat’ need something to write about everyday for magazines and websites. They need the exciting content.  Good or bad food articles will always sell magazines.

All of this confusion destroys the public’s trust in nutrition information, and completely discredits the idea of a nutrition professional.

Question 4: If you had your chance to set up any experiment in a lab right now, what would it be?

Brad Pilon: Yikes…OK…

If I was running the trial, I’d like to put a group of middle aged men on a 14 day fast. The intervention would be varying doses of testosterone enanthenate. I would use a long acting GnRH agonist, to suppress endogenous testosterone secretion, and then give an injection of 300, 600, or 1,200 mg with the intention of increasing mean nadir testosterone concentrations of 1,500, 2,500 and 3,500 ng/dl.

Since we know there is a proven relationship between testosterone and lean body mass, this would help answer the question ‘do you NEED to overeat to build muscle mass’.

If I wasn’t running the trial, I’d like to finally see a long term training study, perhaps middle aged men and women, training continually for 2-3 years. The goal would be comparing the changes in body composition in 8 week intervals to see if there are any measurable changes in lean mass beyond the initial adaptation to weight training.

Question 5: What is the last…

Book you read:
Album/Single you got:
Film/Show you watched:

Brad Pilon:

Book:Health food junkies by Steven Bratman
Album/Single: Jamirouqui’s greatest hits and “The Last Kind Words” by Devil Driver (Heavy Metal is my secret vice)
Movie: ‘Vicky Christina Barcelona,’ which I believe was a Woody Allen flick

To learn more about Brad Pilon check out his website at EatStopEat

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In case you hadn’t figured it out, the feature item for this post is EatStopEat