Dr. David Spence, author of “How to Prevent Your Stroke,” is at it again with ridiculous statements based on important “research and fact.”

You might remember Dr. David from a 2005 debacle on the validity of Homeopathy treatment based on a “Will you date me? Check yes or no!” style of survey. Apparently Dr. David didn’t learn enough from that run around, no, he wanted to give being ridiculous more of a go.

Recently he has sparked controversy by stating the following about eggs.

“The only Canadians who should eat eggs regularly are those with a terminal illness.”

When asked why, Spence states it is all about the yolk and that his intentions are noble.

“Who would you want to believe–the dietitian who works for the Egg Farmers of Canada or a doctor who has spent 30 years trying to prevent strokes? I don’t have any interest in this at all, but they certainly do. They are selling eggs, I am selling stroke prevention.”

That is right, you ARE selling stroke prevention with your book aren’t you. In fact, in your book you state some very important and ground breaking information on diet and strong prevention including…

-Never eat an egg yolk

-Keep your meat intake to two ounces a day or one serving of animal flesh every other day

Now I don’t know about you, but this makes me feel really good about those in research studying how to help prevent strokes that get massive funding!

Look out for an FLzine feature about the real deal on eggs. In the meantime you can check out Alan Aragon’s Research Review as he covers the topic beautifully as well.

Dr. David Spence, may the yolk be with you.

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Feature item for this post: AARR

I don’t have a clip. I am so so angry because I can’t show you a clip yet. Someone please send me a clip of Jillian Michaels with the Kettlebell the other night on The Biggest Loser.

I tried to create for you a demonstration that I felt was fitting.

I have never seen form so bad and with a 6lb KB no less.

If that didn’t make matters worse, check out this recent yummy tummy statements.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/30087875#30087875

Here is a brief tip.

Cortisol is completely evil, funny since she kills her trainees with it everyday.
Cosmetics are making you fat.
Organic only people!
Plastic bottles, bad bad bad.

Jillian Michaels, master this!

UPDATE!: We got a clip!

Thanks to Lauren for letting us know.

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Can those tell me who is complaining about the obesity “gene” what the “gene” is? I doubt you have a clue, I doubt you know a thing about the genetic cards that lead to being fat without STUFFING YOUR FACE!

Dean runs “Dean’s World” and by all accounts seemed like a moderately intelligent person. Be for warned folks, being smart in one area does not mean you are smart in another. Just because you think you know everything about a broad subject like society or politics, doesn’t mean you aren’t whining about how being overweight isn’t your fault.

Since Dean will see this link (via his wordpress) and likely read this, I have a word or two for him. I also recommend Dean, read my last post and see if you can’t find something in common.

Why am I mad at Dean?

Dean doesn’t get it, and worse he is spreading it to the masses. I can understand being duped by society, but don’t lead in the duping Dean!

Dean made a blog post discussing a study done that showed fat loss was based on a caloric deficit. If you didn’t know, that is what it takes.  In that blog post he comes across as understanding if you don’t take in account of activity, calories, and health then you aren’t going to lose fat.

Dean’s readers start to leave your basic wrong comments about the dogma of meal timing. Here are some highlights.

Yup, that’s exactly right, Zach. Any time you fast, like skipping dinner, your metabolism slows down, too.- Deadrody

What eating less and exercising more will never do, however, is allow chronically obese individuals to become slender and stay that way. To date, not one study in all of history has ever shown otherwise. If you’re fat and have been for a while (i.e. you didn’t just suddenly balloon up due to unusual life circumstances), you will still be fat long-term no matter what diet and exercise regimen you adopt. -Dean himself.

There will always be exceptions but unfortunately for the vast amount of obese people, it is NOT the rule. If it were that simple, we wouldn’t have an epidemic of morbidly obese people. So far, the only way someone morbidly obese can hope to get to a healthy weight or at least not be morbidly obese any longer is surgery. Even people who have bariatric surgery have weight rebounds, not always drastic but they always gain some back. -Scarlett

As you can see for any of you that have clients, read research, or understand science, they don’t know what they are talking about, and are playing a tiny violin. Worse, they are doing it in front of the whole world and giving even more reasons and excuses for people to not take into account the facts.

Because of these back and forth comments Dean makes a fresh new post about his effort of trying to lose fat for years and how he sadly, out of nowhere, gained 120 pounds. Well Dean guess what, you need to go to a hospital and fast my liberal friend if that is really true so that they can study this modern miracle.

Maybe all the time you spend not moving, blogging, watching TV shows, playing video games, watching YouTube videos, and twittering about the country has left you in the state you are in. Think about THAT Dean. Let me pull something…where is it…oh yes

“A man that size can complain all he wants about the justification of being obese as long as he realizes that 8 hours a day of sitting on his butt equals 650 calories burned. I bet one of his meals has that in calories, even if healthy. Until the world realizes the lack of movement, and how few calories are burned an hour by our daily lives we are going to continue to see a rise in the obesity epidemic.  Like it is usually the case, we only have ourselves to blame.” - Leigh Peele as transcribed from local CBS news station discuss a photo shown on air.

So Dean, go buy one more diet book and learn how fat loss works my friend. I got the best one for you right here.

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It is amazing, amazing what people think is owed to them. Today I researched the case of The Chawners. A British family who is under the microscope right now for claiming that they are “too fat to work and don’t have enough time to diet.” Oh no, you read it right. Apparently watching tv and stuffing your face is too time consuming. Apparently these fat bastards already get paid 30,000 (22,000 uk) dollars a year to sit of their fat asses and now, they want more. The mother claims “We love TV. It’s on from the moment we get up. Often I’m so tired from watching TV I have to have a nap.” I am not kidding.

Add to that, their large and plump daughter somehow has the time to try-out for not one, but two reality performance tv shows. Are you ready for which ones? A brit version of “American Idol” and “X-Factor.” I could cry I am laughing so hard. Not even the BIGGEST F*@KING LOSER. No, you would think right?! You would think their family would get on something like that, after all it is free room and board and they would be ON the tv. Apparently they don’t have the time to diet and blame their fat loss on a non-disclosed gene that is only in their family.

Question though?

If this gene is so rare… Are mom and dad brother and sister? Did they happen to be so lucky as to find each other in a weird twisted turn of events? It is a fat ass love miracle. When asked what they eat for breakfast the family listed out cereals, microwave pies, and more crap food that you would expect people of that size to eat. Mom stated “I once bought some pears, but they tasted funny. All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We’re fat because it’s in our genes. Our whole family is overweight.” Well, obviously you didn’t read JC’s recent article about how to eat on a bulk, meaning to actually gain weight, for next to nothing. Wait just a cotton ass moment, I thought the genes were the only issue? I am confused now, perhaps one of them is sitting on my head.

To finish things out the father, Mr. Chawner tells us that, “What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It’s not our fault we can’t work. We deserve more.”

. . .

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There is nothing I can say that will make this article better. In fact, I am just going to comment where I feel I need to.

A team of trainers has announced over the course of every issue of Men’s Health magazine that abdominal definition is possible for the average newsstand shopper.

OMG, finally after all this time!

The findings have, do, and will seemingly perpetually show that a diet low in saturated fats, combined with a rigorous target training program, greatly increases the probability that you will be able to grate Parmesan on your chest.

But doesn’t parmesan cheese have saturated fat? Shouldn’t be grating that stuff on your abs then, right? What if the saturated fat, the KILLER OF THE ABZ, seeps in through osmosis?!

“Inside: the secret to the kind of abs the ladies will love,” said managing editor Nate Callaghan, not bothering to specify volume, issue, or page number.  “Take five minutes a day for a new you.”

“Repetition is the soul of sexy,” Mr. Callaghan added.

Wha, huh?

Observers say this breakthrough, stale and obvious though it may be, could serve an important purpose for the future of male-female relations.

“As it is, men have an increasingly tenuous hold on female sexuality,” commented prominent behavioral scientist Winston Cockburn of the University of Chicago.  “For men, driving yourself towards abnormal extremes—no pun intended—could be a way of warding off the looming demise of our species.”

For those who didn’t quite pick up on that stroke (no pun intended) of genius, Dr. is saying that getting the hot abs is key to human survival.

Dr. Cockburn attributes this perpetual discovery to a growing realization of the inadequacy of the gender.  Men, he reasons, do not find partners without a razor-sharp, diuretic-fueled hold on their body mass index.

This would help to explain why men outside the modeling industry have been unable to court female attention without the aid of wax molds, magazine cutouts glued to the chest, or carefully arranged mirrors.

They obviously have not been to this wedding.

“Obviously, alcohol is playing a crucial role here, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to convince the modern woman that flab is fab,” concludes Dr. Cockburn.

Wha? Are we running out of the alcohol? Are females tolerance building up?

Personal trainer Mark Granger has seen a marked increase in business since the magazine’s ongoing announcement.

“We can bring you from gut to cut in six months, tops,” said Mr. Granger, “And it’s all thanks to the Men’s Health secret.”

Gut to cut eh? Even this guy?

Editors Note: Alan Aragon, we know you write for Men’s Health and we need confirmation on this story sir. Thank you.

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Lily Allen is crediting Hypnotherepist to the stars Susan Hepburn (don’t stare in the eyes!) for her new weight loss.

Check out what Susan has to say…

“I taught Lily to favour healthy, low-fat meals instead of junk food. And to see that alcohol isn’t a confidence booster, it’s just extra calories that sabotage your efforts to get a good body.”

For $600 bucks a session, that’s it? She also refers to her technique as “weight loss without dieting.”

I decided to take up the art of this weight loss hypnosis stuff.

Look deep into my typing.

You are starting to feel warm.

You are starting to feel a tingle in the back of your right ear.

You are now feeling the fire of a thousand swords in your f**cking eyeballs because you can’t take reading moronic s**t like this any more!

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Feature Product for this post: The Fat Loss Troubleshoot, and it doesn’t even involve hypnosis

I can’t sit through Biggest Loser without being physically affected. This can be in forms of sudden turrets or becoming physically violent towards the television set tennis balls. Any good fitness professional always has a collection of self massage equipment by their TV.

Why? Isn’t it inspirational? At least they achieve their goal, right?

Yeah, so do bulimics, but I don’t think the ratings for that show have staying power.

In the video clip you can watch Bob give it to one of the contestants for not finishing “high interval sprint” on the treadmill.

Go ahead, watch it.

You say: “Oh come on, that is what trainers do, they push people! She wasn’t giving her all.”
I say: NO! How about she shouldn’t be on a treadmill running like that in the first place because the sheer weight and volume of her ass is enough to take down her knees and joints down in a snap. To add insult to injury the kind of deficits they create on that show are so extreme that their bodies are primed for getting tore up.

This isn’t Rocky. This is fat people being tied to a moving hamster wheel. The people from this show walk away with severe delusions about what diet and training are. Thanks to marketing and TV, so do their fans.

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The Tracy Anderson fiasco is nothing new.  For those new to the topic here is a brief recap of how we got to this point.

• Tracey Anderson was “fat” when young.
• Nothing worked for her until she realizes that the key is to happiness is to copy Jane Fonda.
• She opens a studio and robs people of their money by leaving town.
• She has no understanding of how the body works at all and makes this painfully clear anytime she speaks about training.
• No woman should lift more than 3 pounds.
• She is now opening a gym this March that will house equipment to target “support” muscles.

This uneducated and morally defunct trainer is going to be successful in achieving her goals of taking money from people through empty promises, wrong information, and dangling the importance of celebrity in front of their eyes. Why is poor Gwyneth in the title as well? Apparently you are the company you keep.

Gwyneth Paltrow is looking to branch out and has teamed up with her personal trainer, Tracy Anderson, to open a chain of gyms across Asia, Europe and Australia. “They’re out to make some serious money,” a source said. Gwyneth “is convinced the studios will be a huge success.” Just be thankful she isn’t releasing a pop album.-Ny Times

I liked Gwyneth Paltrow, well I liked a few of her films. I figured her for a pawn initially. How was she supposed to know her trainer was a moron? It isn’t like her job is in health and fitness, right? Wrong. Turns out she is trying the diet and nutrition “thing” on for size and profit. Word to the wise celebrities, stop toying with things you don’t understand and that could hurt people. You want to be a business mogul, fine, but have some ethics will ya? You are already doing a TV show, “lifestyle” web site, cosmetics contract, and a cookbook. Unless you have a tutor teaching you everything there is to know to understand the importance of human anatomy Paltrow, I shout “unethical” to your new business venture. Since the company you keep is Anderson, if there is a tutor, fire them. It’s funny how no one fails to see the importance of being wrong about the human body. No, that isn’t important. Lungs, heart, muscles, brain, and hormones? Screw it all I say, let’s start performing surgery in the street. Better yet, let’s do a competition show on the CW channel. We will call it America Next Amateur Surgeon! Hey Paltrow, want to invest in my new show?

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Featured Item for this post The Fat Loss Troubleshoot to actually learn something useful.