No Bull: Color Chart Of Do
OMG! Science!: First off, I hope that no one is going around like some Africans and knowingly spreading AIDS. Secondly, don’t listen to this guy for AIDS prevention tips. I can’t figure out what’s funnier, the fact that he thinks that AIDS cells can osmosis themselves through a condom, or the glass and strainer example for a vagina and a condom.
Ridiculous 11 Year Research Project of the Week: Well, you gotta give her props for perseverance if nothing else. And she’s not isolating muscle groups people, she’s targeting accessory muscles. That’s COMPLETELY different. And that leg over the cabinet deal? Well, it’s great for those of us with lower ab problems “and all that.” Sweetness. I will say, water containers project an infinitely tougher image than the pink dumbbells do.
Ridiculous Baseball Preview of the Week: Men’s Fitness needs to stick with, you know, fitness. (Yes, I realize that would eliminate 70% of the magazine) There’s too much to rip apart in one paragraph, so I’ll just stick to his Phillies blurb. 1. Way to go out on a limb there, Mitch, picking your former employer and reigning World Series champions as a “team to watch.” 2. The fact that they have a good closer is not the reason they won the World Series. There are eight innings of baseball played before the last one. 3. The Phillies won the World Series despite Charlie Manuel’s bizarre lineup management.
Ridiculous Teaser of the Week: Also from MF, the write up for this interview with David Banner says that you can see how he drops five pounds a week. Apparently “see” is a synonym for “vague description.” I must admit, I do want to sculpt myself up though.
Editors note: We had no idea who David Banner was. Apparently he is a rapper turned Biggest Loser wannabe based upon this video.
Ridiculous List of the Week: Are you wired to cheat? For number three, I suggest creating a color coded chart, much like the Department of Homeland Security did. Every girl (guy) you see corresponds to the chart. Green, or “low” means that the girl (guy) is ugly, and you didn’t even do an ass check. Blue, or “guarded” means that you made sure—on the off chance that something happened—you had a condom in your wallet (purse). Yellow or “elevated” means that you started to, well, elevate. (sorry, I got nothing for the ladies.) Orange, or “high” is along that same wavelength. And as for red or “severe” you’re already in full-on grope and dry hump mode, the authorities have been called, and much like in a terrorist attack, your life as you know it is now over.
Random Non Fitness Thought of the Week: Directv are geniuses. By giving me every baseball game free for this week they’ve almost convinced me to put down $190 for this luxury for the entire season. And the week has just begun. I’m in trouble.
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