No Bull: The best things in life ARE free!
Ridiculous Photoshop of the Week: Oh SHAPE, you just don’t know what you’re doing, do you? Danica obviously prides herself on looking great, as evidenced by her photoshoots for Sports Illustrated, but she must be Houdini to get her stomach to look like this. That takes special talent, or a really horrible plastic surgeon with a liposuction machine.
OMG! Dieting Advice!: No carbs! Orange Juice as a cheat food! OMG! Maybe someone needs to tell these women that they’re not looking great because of the lack of carbohydrates but rather that they have great genetics and dance five to six hours a day. But that’s no fun, is it? I mean, who wants to actually, you know, sweat and all that nasty stuff. Sweat stinks.
Ridiculous Car Crash of the Week: Courtesy of Carl Edwards. Gotta love the Ricky Bobby synergy as the first thing Edwards wanted to do after he got out of the car was to run across the finish line. Hopefully this inspires NASCAR to incorporate Le Mans starts in the All-Star race sometime in the future. Just penalize the drivers if they run over someone who hasn’t gotten to his car yet. That’ll make sure nothing happens…
Ridiculous Wave Riding of the Week: Even though the wave has already crested and disappeared. Really, Men’s Health? Really? You’re still getting mileage out of this one? I just emailed them and told them that I had this new workout called “Pilates” (named after Pontius Pilate of course) that I think has a chance to really catch on. Wish me luck!
OMG! Swine Flu!: Didn’t we go through this shit like 30 years ago? We’re still here, aren’t we?
OMG! Anorexia!: Um… yeah, she’s too skinny. According to the NSCA CSCS textbook, denial is a sign of an eating disorder, so she’s definitely got one. For the record, I would like to say that I don’t barf after meals either.
OMG! Morons!: I don’t care what Kim Kardashian’s talking butt has to say about Miss California, and I don’t care about what Perez Hilton has to say either. However, this girl is more famous for saying what she did than the girl that actually won the damn competition. Those beauty pageant contestants; they’re always one step ahead of the rest of us.
OMG! Morons! Pt II: Miss California got her tits paid for by the pageant. I bet that wasn’t supposed to be part of this media barrage.
Editors note: Upon further talks FLzine believes that Miss California’s boobs were part of the protection from falling gays. It seems that Miss California is working with giantgayrepllentumbrella.com and that her boobs are apart of the project.
Random Non Fitness Thought of the Week: Thoughts go out to the family of David Poole. Poole was the best in the business, and is going to be sadly missed. NASCAR fans are going to be a little less educated now. (bada bump)
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